Choose, Chosen, Choosing

I heard someone crying this morning at work. I don’t know why. I just know they were upset. It could have been any number of reasons, but I did hear them say to someone they didn’t want to talk about whatever it was. So, I just let them cry without bothering them. I was a little jealous honestly, I’ve had a lump in my throat for a few days, and I kinda wish I could have busted out crying myself, but my mascara would have run and I’m not really wanting to look like that for the rest of the day. So, I swallowed the lump and just carried on

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They sounded upset WITH someone. And I got that paralyzed feeling inside like, “I hope they don’t split up because of whatever this is. I hope their kids know how much they are loved even when it doesn’t seem like it.” I always go there. For some reason, discourse for me means the end of something. That is just my past speaking. I’m trying to overcome that.

I’ve had this thought in my mind for the last few days about how so many things in our lives are a choice. Mind you, everything is a choice, but specifically I have been thinking about how our thoughts are a choice and how love is a choice.

I’ve been waking up every morning and lying in bed just giving my mind a few minutes to reprogram itself. I lay there and decide how my thinking will impact my day. I decide to choose the best of things to dwell on instead of the worst. I decide to trust the goodness and power of the Lord instead of my own understanding or feelings. Because let’s be honest, our feelings lie. My gut feelings are not always an accurate depiction of anything. I’m learning to tie those false thoughts to imaginary red balloons and let them float away. I choose that. I am choosing to look at the sunny side. The sunny side is so much better.

The same applies to love. We choose every single day to love the ones we love. I used to think it was a feeling (back to those feelings again), but I see now (as I mature in age and wrinkles) that it is a choice. I choose every day to love people. Sometimes they are not worthy of my love because they are humans, but either way, when you care about someone you make the choice. Sometimes I am not worthy of love, because I am human. But people choose to love me in spite of that. I am learning to let them love me. I’ll be honest, this might be the hardest part for me. I have to choose to actually let people love me. That sounds so weird to say. But it’s just true.

And that is how relationships sustain this crazy world. A choice. One choice. Choosing to love when walking away is easier is the bravest, kindest, most selfless thing we can do every single day. How great does it make you feel to know that someone woke up today and chose to care about you? I’m obsessed with the thought. That person (or people) decided you were worth it. You ARE worth it.

Isn’t that just the perfect example of Christ? I am unlovable and full of filth and yet he loves me right where I am? He isn’t going anywhere. That thought blows my mind. I choose every morning to love the Lord more and more. It is a choice I have to make. It is a decision I have to make on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis. I choose to be held by the Creator of this world. And he chose me and will continue to choose me no matter what I do. It gives me chills.

I want to be realistic too though, sometimes people won’t choose to love you. And sometimes you have to choose to not love someone. That’s just real life, so keep that in perspective. Sometimes you will hurt people and sometimes they will hurt you. That too is a choice.

So what I would say to you today is this, choose your thoughts wisely. Choose who you love wisely. Choose every day to choose to love the people around you. Choose to love them when they don’t seem lovable. Choose to love them when they make you cry. Choose to love them when it isn't convenient for you. Choose to love them because it is totally counter to this fickle, I can have whatever I want when I want it, world. Stay when leaving is easy. Love someone when it is hard. Show people around you what it looks like to commit to something.

Allow the love of the Lord to be your guiding light in your choices. He will go before you. He will help you choose wisely. Take a look at your life today and let the people you love know it. Let them know you choose them. Your choice will make all the difference in your own heart and in the hearts of those around you.