Outside The Box

A year ago it all came crashing down. All of it. Everything I had put my stock in. He walked out and I was left here. Broken. Alone. Scared. Too much. Not enough. Stuck. Feeling unworthy and so much less than. I was angry at the Lord. I was angry at him. I was angry at myself.

So, I took up a hobby. Baking. I did it because I had watched so much Great British Baking show on Netflix that I just knew I could do it (I also thought I might permanently take up a British accent, but my Southern twang doesn’t fit well with it). I knew I could make those things. And y’all, I COULD! It was a wonderful distraction from my hurt. It brought me joy. Creating something and not sucking at it (like I felt like I had in the relationship), was beyond anything I could have thought it would have been. All the insecurity I felt in my relationship was gone in my baking.

And the healing began. And the wound healed, and I healed, and somehow I started seeing different sides of myself that I hadn’t seen before. Anytime I see a new side of myself I’m a little surprised, not because I don’t think I have substance, but because I’m a thinker and an explorer and I’m always looking at myself and analyzing myself. So when I saw something new I was like, “Oh hey! There you are!” And I realized that I had put myself in a box.

We put a lot of things in boxes don’t we? We put our relationships in a box. Our kids in a box. Our parents in box. Our friends in a box. Our jobs. Our habits. Our emotions. Our churches. Our faith.

We put God in a box.

I put God in a box. I ALWAYS put God in a box. I view him as if he can only do so much with only a certain amount of things. If it isn’t in that box, forget about it. If I am not perfect or completely faithful. Forget about it. But I’m wrong in doing this. So very wrong.

I’m not afraid to admit that. Dare I say we would have a lot more people staying close to Jesus and/or turning to Jesus if more Christ followers would admit that. Mike Glenn, the pastor of Brentwood Baptist in Brentwood, TN used to say a couple of things all the time that I think about daily (not kidding):

1.       Baptists like to come to church as often as possible and celebrate everything they haven’t done that week instead of celebrating all that they have done.

2.       Baptists like to use a Sharpie instead of a highlighter when reading the Bible.

I’m not knocking Baptists, I am one, but what I am saying is that we as a denomination (and others too, I’m sure) put God in a box. You see what I mean?

I was doing my Bible study this morning (super spiritual over here) and came across this quote, “The covenant Jesus offers us is this: we bring our nothing, and he gives us everything.” That is living outside the box. That is realizing that he offers himself to us no matter where we are or what we do. I do not have to look a certain way, or act a certain way, for him to keep his covenant with me. Living outside the box is freedom.

I didn’t see how the Lord could use the man I loved walking away for any good. I sat in that box for MONTHS. I sat in that box and was angry for too long (or maybe the exact right amount of time). I couldn’t see outside of the box. And even when I started thinking about dating again, I was still in the box. Looking at only things inside the box. I was limiting what the Lord could do with my circumstances.

And then I had a conversation with my sweet therapist who said that my previous relationship was WAY too inside the box. That I am not an “inside the box” kind of girl! And I think maybe I believe her. I do believe her.

We forget what God can do outside of the box. Wait, I mean we don’t even think he lives outside the box. Oh, but all he DID was live outside the box! How quickly we forget that.

He took my hurt and my insecurity and he gave me confidence in a skill I have. He gave me the joy of baking and the joy that comes from the act of baking bleeds into all the other areas of my life. I never would have thought it.

He restores. He comforts. He is bigger than and better than the box.

I don’t know in what way this will manifest itself in your life, but I think we all need to break our box down and throw it in the recycle bin. We need to all widen our view on things and on what the Lord can and WILL do if we let him. He is just waiting on us to join him outside of ourselves.

What if I decide to live outside the box and believe that anything is possible? What if!

A year later and fully restored. A year later and fully open to the possibilities. A year later and I have a small little baking "business" I do from home when people need goodies. A year later and seeing the Lord move in my life in ways I wouldn’t have been open to a year ago.

A year later living completely fulfilled outside the box!