Dear Krystal,
Today is May 23, 2016. A day you cannot even conceive of in your mind because you are 4, but eventually 30 years will go by and you'll be 34 sitting here writing this letter to yourself. Over the last few days I have watched hours of home video footage of you through the years. You started as an adorable red-cheeked happy child, grew up to be an awkward sad teenager, and now you are a classy adult (if I do say so myself).
Watching these movies has brought my heart so much joy and yet also so much sadness all at the same time. Some of the videos are so adorable I can hardly stand it, and some of them are so awkward that I want to turn my face away so I never have to see them again. I wish I could go back and change some of these things you did or the ways you acted. I found myself yelling at the TV so maybe you could hear me and do things differently. I wish I could have made better choices for you. But, the time passed and I was me and you were you and we just did the best we could.
I wanted to give you a little look at what things are going to look like for you over the next 30 years. I thought it might help you to put it all into perspective.
Over the next 30 years ....
You will be made fun of
You will get sick and your personality will change because of it
You will be bullied and your personality will really change because of it
You will take dance lessons and feel fat in your leotard
You will cut your bangs too short
You will wear a spring dress to a Christmas program because you wanted to
You will sing in church and hit the wrong notes
You will be betrayed
You will betray others
Your boyfriends will cheat on you
You will love people who do not love you back
You will be bossy and snotty
You will have a sour attitude
You will gain weight
You will wear lipstick that is too dark
You will dye your hair black
You will say things you don't mean
You will wear ugly clothes
You won't date much
You will invest all of yourself in people who won't invest back
You will feel invisible
You won't go to your freshman or senior homecoming dances
You will choose the wrong friends at times
You will disappoint people
You will feel left out
You will question what the Lord is doing in your life
You still aren't married
You still don't have children
You will be too loud at times so people will notice you
You will not be the prettiest girl in the room
You will try too hard
You will cry gallons of tears
You won't understand it all
The list goes on and on of failures and hurts, but none of it matters. This list is irrelevant.
Because in the eyes of the Lord ....
You are worthy
You are loved
You are accepted
You are significant
All of these things are going to hurt you so much to think about when you're 34. You are going to try to figure out how to back peddle and make it all right, but you can't. And the thing is, you don't really want to because all of those things have made you who you are today. These are the things that have taught you the lessons and helped you bear the fruit.
Take the time to focus on the wonderful things going on in you life as you live it. If you made a list of those things it would be too long to type out. Enjoy those moments, people, and memories. You only get them once.
Take the time to apologize to anyone you might have hurt along the way whether intentionally or unintentionally, gain what you can from the experiences, forgive people even though they are not sorry and move on. Move on from the sad things, grow from them and learn from them because eventually they won't matter.
You are a darling girl. You are loved by your mom, dad, sister (and her family) more than words will ever be able to say. Cling to that. Love who the Lord made you to be. You are unique and kind. You are quirky and wonderful. You are caring and tough.You are funny and smart. You are admired. You are a treasure.
Just remember, I love you from this side of all of the mess and eventually you will too.
xoxo
Krystal
Today is May 23, 2016. A day you cannot even conceive of in your mind because you are 4, but eventually 30 years will go by and you'll be 34 sitting here writing this letter to yourself. Over the last few days I have watched hours of home video footage of you through the years. You started as an adorable red-cheeked happy child, grew up to be an awkward sad teenager, and now you are a classy adult (if I do say so myself).
Watching these movies has brought my heart so much joy and yet also so much sadness all at the same time. Some of the videos are so adorable I can hardly stand it, and some of them are so awkward that I want to turn my face away so I never have to see them again. I wish I could go back and change some of these things you did or the ways you acted. I found myself yelling at the TV so maybe you could hear me and do things differently. I wish I could have made better choices for you. But, the time passed and I was me and you were you and we just did the best we could.
I wanted to give you a little look at what things are going to look like for you over the next 30 years. I thought it might help you to put it all into perspective.
Over the next 30 years ....
You will be made fun of
You will get sick and your personality will change because of it
You will be bullied and your personality will really change because of it
You will take dance lessons and feel fat in your leotard
You will cut your bangs too short
You will wear a spring dress to a Christmas program because you wanted to
You will sing in church and hit the wrong notes
You will be betrayed
You will betray others
Your boyfriends will cheat on you
You will love people who do not love you back
You will be bossy and snotty
You will have a sour attitude
You will gain weight
You will wear lipstick that is too dark
You will dye your hair black
You will say things you don't mean
You will wear ugly clothes
You won't date much
You will invest all of yourself in people who won't invest back
You will feel invisible
You won't go to your freshman or senior homecoming dances
You will choose the wrong friends at times
You will disappoint people
You will feel left out
You will question what the Lord is doing in your life
You still aren't married
You still don't have children
You will be too loud at times so people will notice you
You will not be the prettiest girl in the room
You will try too hard
You will cry gallons of tears
You won't understand it all
The list goes on and on of failures and hurts, but none of it matters. This list is irrelevant.
Because in the eyes of the Lord ....
You are worthy
You are loved
You are accepted
You are significant
All of these things are going to hurt you so much to think about when you're 34. You are going to try to figure out how to back peddle and make it all right, but you can't. And the thing is, you don't really want to because all of those things have made you who you are today. These are the things that have taught you the lessons and helped you bear the fruit.
Take the time to focus on the wonderful things going on in you life as you live it. If you made a list of those things it would be too long to type out. Enjoy those moments, people, and memories. You only get them once.
Take the time to apologize to anyone you might have hurt along the way whether intentionally or unintentionally, gain what you can from the experiences, forgive people even though they are not sorry and move on. Move on from the sad things, grow from them and learn from them because eventually they won't matter.
You are a darling girl. You are loved by your mom, dad, sister (and her family) more than words will ever be able to say. Cling to that. Love who the Lord made you to be. You are unique and kind. You are quirky and wonderful. You are caring and tough.You are funny and smart. You are admired. You are a treasure.
Just remember, I love you from this side of all of the mess and eventually you will too.
xoxo
Krystal
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