In Sunday School [Community Group] this week our teacher asked us to list out the biggest blessings in our lives. My list was short and simple. It consisted of all of the things that are my biggest and most wonderful blessings. There were things on there that I assume were on everyone's lists: heath, family, shelter, etc. But my list had something on it that made me smile when I wrote it.
Being single.
Not typically something women of my age write when thinking about their blessings, but for me it is truly the greatest blessing in my life right now and here's why.
In my singleness the fruit of my life is multiplying.
It's just that simple.
Now that I'm over the peak of the "why not me?" mountain, the land is rich and full and the fruit is growing. The uphill climb of that mountain was the ugliest part of my life. Seriously .... when I look back at that time in my mind I want to cover my eyes.
I was climbing my way up that mountain in the worst way possible. Always looking for others (guys) to pull me up and help me get to the top. All the while they were just pulling me back down. The relationships I found myself in in my past were all just messy for me because the fruit of my life was dead. Sure, my faith was strong but my fruit was non-existent.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control? Nope. Didn't have any. I pretended to have them, but inside I was hateful, sad, turbulent, inpatient, mean, foolish, harsh and impulsive. I was looking for someone else to help me turn it all around. That never works.
It wasn't their fault. If any of my past beaus are reading this, it wasn't you. Truly. Well ... ok ... some of it was you, but mostly it was me. I was broken and looking to be put back together. And I'm glad it didn't work out, for your sake, because you couldn't fix me. I had to do the mending on my own.
I have never in all of my life experienced such fruitfulness as I have in being single. I have spent a lot of alone time with myself and I have grown to know who I am. In every aspect. I have had the proper time to grieve over my mistakes and rejoice over the Lord's grace. I have touched the face of the Lord in this season. He has come through for me just as he said he would. And that result isn't being in a relationship. It's not being in one.
I hope my season of singleness doesn't last my whole life. I desire to love and be loved. I would love to walk through the rest of my life with someone. I'd love to navigate the messiness of what is to come alongside a Godly man, but if that doesn't happen I will thank the good Lord for his faithfulness and provisions.
And if not, He is still good.
This life is too sweet and too wonderful to not count this time in my life as a blessing. There are too many beautiful things that have come out of this season for me to not shout it from the rooftop. I hope that if you find yourself in the same place you will look for the goodness and the faithfulness for yourself.
Being single.
Not typically something women of my age write when thinking about their blessings, but for me it is truly the greatest blessing in my life right now and here's why.
In my singleness the fruit of my life is multiplying.
It's just that simple.
Now that I'm over the peak of the "why not me?" mountain, the land is rich and full and the fruit is growing. The uphill climb of that mountain was the ugliest part of my life. Seriously .... when I look back at that time in my mind I want to cover my eyes.
I was climbing my way up that mountain in the worst way possible. Always looking for others (guys) to pull me up and help me get to the top. All the while they were just pulling me back down. The relationships I found myself in in my past were all just messy for me because the fruit of my life was dead. Sure, my faith was strong but my fruit was non-existent.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control? Nope. Didn't have any. I pretended to have them, but inside I was hateful, sad, turbulent, inpatient, mean, foolish, harsh and impulsive. I was looking for someone else to help me turn it all around. That never works.
It wasn't their fault. If any of my past beaus are reading this, it wasn't you. Truly. Well ... ok ... some of it was you, but mostly it was me. I was broken and looking to be put back together. And I'm glad it didn't work out, for your sake, because you couldn't fix me. I had to do the mending on my own.
I have never in all of my life experienced such fruitfulness as I have in being single. I have spent a lot of alone time with myself and I have grown to know who I am. In every aspect. I have had the proper time to grieve over my mistakes and rejoice over the Lord's grace. I have touched the face of the Lord in this season. He has come through for me just as he said he would. And that result isn't being in a relationship. It's not being in one.
I hope my season of singleness doesn't last my whole life. I desire to love and be loved. I would love to walk through the rest of my life with someone. I'd love to navigate the messiness of what is to come alongside a Godly man, but if that doesn't happen I will thank the good Lord for his faithfulness and provisions.
And if not, He is still good.
This life is too sweet and too wonderful to not count this time in my life as a blessing. There are too many beautiful things that have come out of this season for me to not shout it from the rooftop. I hope that if you find yourself in the same place you will look for the goodness and the faithfulness for yourself.
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