I go to therapy (yes, STILL).
In therapy we talk a lot about living in the Spirit and living in the Flesh. Most of the reasons for going to therapy are of the flesh. And before you get all "Seriously Krystal what kind of life are you living?" on me you have to understand that anything that isn't Spirit based is living in the flesh. So anytime I'm depressed it's because of the outside influence of the world. But based in the Spirit I am able to say I am loved, accepted, worthy, and significant in the eyes of the Lord and allow myself to shift from the flesh to the Spirit.
If that doesn't make sense I'm sorry. Hopefully you can still follow me here.
So if I'm finding myself living in the flesh most of the time in the form of depression, anger, legalism, jealousy, anxiety, etc then I have to learn to shift my thinking to Spirit thinking. To where these things of the flesh wash over me and off my back and I don't cling to them. I don't want to cling to them. When I find myself allowing the Spirit to wash over me and cover me, all the things of the flesh don't weigh me down as much. In these moments I say, "Lord, what do you want me to know?" and I am able to be quiet enough to listen to him and 99% of the time I hear him.
So that leads me to the topic of food. Nice transition right? Let's just get right to the point. What we as a society have done to the importance of food is of the flesh. We have taken what should be nourishment and made it into an idol. I have made it into an idol. I love food. Love it. I've never been in love with a fella before but if it feels anything like my love for food, we will be happy all the live long day.
We have become a society that praises women that are overweight and women who are underweight. There, I said it. We have gotten to the point to where women who are clearly not managing food well are being praised for their boldness to post picture of themselves on the internet. I'm talking mostly right now about people who are overweight. And I'm not falling for it.
Let me make something clear. I think women should be neither skinny or fat. I think women should be women. I have 40" hips. Not a typo. 40" hips. And I've had 40" hips since I was in high school. They aren't going anywhere. I'm not going to starve myself to lose these hips and I'm also not going to stuff myself to make them any bigger. I'm going to stick with what I've got.
I will not allow food to be my idol. I have set a barometer for myself on my size. If the pants I currently own start falling off of me, I need to look and see what is going on in my life creating an unhealthy habit of not eating enough. And if my pants start getting too tight I need to take a good long look at what is making me overeat. I will not go buy bigger pants or shirts to accommodate my emotional eating needs. I will not justify myself in any way shape or form for the sake of food. I will not do it. You may think that is ridiculous but don't we all need some kind of barometer in our lives for everything? The answer is yes. Too much or too little of a good thing is not balance.
I don't want to hear the excuse that, "It just happened." It didn't just happen. You didn't just wake up overnight 20+ lbs overweight. Or 20+ lbs too thin. You are making the choices. No one is holding you down and forcing you to eat until you are sick and no one is taping your mouth shut so you won't eat. And if they are then we have WAY more serious issues on hand.
I want to make something clear. This isn't about WHAT we are eating. I don't care what you're eating. This is about HOW MUCH we are eating and how little we are exercising. This is about how we as women (and men) are allowing food to be a drug. Just because it isn't illegal then we justify every bite or lack there of. And we justify our size. You are not happy being 20 lbs overweight.
Example below:
Right at this very moment I am professionally defeated. I am stressed out to the max. I'm squashed. And just this very second I got an email that made my blood pressure spike and the first thing I thought was, "Where can I get an entire stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut so I can eat it all myself?" Because if I could just get my hands on something delicious and stuff the WHOLE thing in my face then I would feel just fine. I am living in the flesh.
Over or under indulging isn't the answer. The answer is Jesus. The answer is to sit for a millisecond (I know that might seem to long for some of you) in silence and ask the Lord what he wants me to know in this very [stressful and stupid] moment.
I want to live in a society where we praise women for teaching their kids how to enjoy food in a healthy way. All kinds of food. I want to live in a society were I can watch a women who has had 4 children be proud of who she is because of the decisions she is currently making that are in the Spirit. I want to be the kind of women who's kids can enjoy a huge cheeseburger, french fries, and a milk shake with without any talk of "I shouldn't be eating this" because they would also be able to tell you about how disgusting their mom is when she comes in from the gym. I want to teach them that food isn't the enemy. Our flesh is. And I want to show them how to transform that thinking into the thinking of the Spirit.
My request of all of us is this, if you are overweight or underweight and you know it, admit it to yourself. You don't need to tell me or the world. Just admit it. Stop saying "I feel great!" You're lying to yourself. This is a bigger deal than you know. Because 10 lbs turns into 20 and 20 into 30 and so on. When you do admit it, smile! Don't get depressed about it. Don't go from one extreme to the other. Just set a barometer for you life and live within it. Make that one tiny change. And that change doesn't include cleaning out your fridge and cutting out carbs. No sir.
What ground to have to stand in even saying any of this? Well because I've lived it. I was 30 lbs overweight over 10 years ago. I told myself I looked great and felt great to justify it all. I was lying to myself and one day I decided to stop lying. I lost the weight. On my own. I changed my life and I haven't been the same since. Praise the Lord.
That is balance. Taking care of the bodies the Lord created in a balanced way is aiding in the preservation of our flesh while living the Spirit. That's the kind of life I want to live.
The end.
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