Let me set up my current atmosphere for you if you don't mind.
It's Saturday evening. We just had a huge thunderstorm a few hours ago so the steam is still coming off the pavement. It smells like rain and summer outside. I just got in from working out and honestly I don't smell very good. I'm sitting on a comfy chair at my kitchen table with my legs tucked under me. My favorite music is floating through the air. This is a normal weekend day for me. I am here at my apartment happy and content. There is no one here but me. There never is.
And here is where I get to my point ... I am alone and I am happy.
It has come to my attention over the last few weeks that the fact that I am 32 and single makes people uncomfortable and think that perhaps I am miserable. I would like to state for the record that I am not miserable. There is nothing about my life that is miserable and even if there were, being in a relationship wouldn't fix that. I do not sit around and cry about the fact that I don't go on dates on the weekends. I did not move to Charlotte to find a husband. I think about being single so much less than you think I do.
Sure, every few months (mostly around Christmas for some reason) I have a good cleansing sob. I speak to God about the situation and explain my heart to Him and then I leave it there. Right at His feet. Right where it be belongs.
Being single isn't who I am just as I would hope that being married isn't all that you are.
The facts are that I would love to be in love. I would love to love and have love given back to me in return. That is a desire of my heart. A great desire, but not my only desire.
More than anything I want to be a kind and gentle person. I want to show people Jesus in any way that I can. I want to have fun and enjoy life. I want to relax more. I want to spend the rest of my life laughing. I want to be a good friend. I want to care about people's feelings. I want to be honest and overall I want people to know that they are safe with me. I want to take care of my physical body too and I do. I want to care about what foods I consume and how they effect me. I want so much for my life that has nothing to do with having a boyfriend.
You see, the times that you think I'm on my couch eating a pint of ice cream crying over my misery, I am actually probably in the special place that I go to to spend time with God, praying for my friends. If I'm crying,it's not because I'm single, it's because I'm praising the Lord for His goodness in my life. Or it's because my friends are in pain and I weep for them in those times. Those wadding up tissues you might see in my trash have the tears of joy and hope on them, not sorrow.
So here is where I politely and lovingly ask you to not try to fix me or my current relationship status. I am confident that the Lord will do that in his own time. I know you all mean well, and you think the world of me and want to see me happy, but I just wanted to make it very clear that I am happy and I will be happy. I know full well that at some point the Lord will provide me a hunk of a man to love and care for, but until then I'm going to use my energy and time to love myself and my friends more and more each day.
It's Saturday evening. We just had a huge thunderstorm a few hours ago so the steam is still coming off the pavement. It smells like rain and summer outside. I just got in from working out and honestly I don't smell very good. I'm sitting on a comfy chair at my kitchen table with my legs tucked under me. My favorite music is floating through the air. This is a normal weekend day for me. I am here at my apartment happy and content. There is no one here but me. There never is.
And here is where I get to my point ... I am alone and I am happy.
It has come to my attention over the last few weeks that the fact that I am 32 and single makes people uncomfortable and think that perhaps I am miserable. I would like to state for the record that I am not miserable. There is nothing about my life that is miserable and even if there were, being in a relationship wouldn't fix that. I do not sit around and cry about the fact that I don't go on dates on the weekends. I did not move to Charlotte to find a husband. I think about being single so much less than you think I do.
Sure, every few months (mostly around Christmas for some reason) I have a good cleansing sob. I speak to God about the situation and explain my heart to Him and then I leave it there. Right at His feet. Right where it be belongs.
Being single isn't who I am just as I would hope that being married isn't all that you are.
The facts are that I would love to be in love. I would love to love and have love given back to me in return. That is a desire of my heart. A great desire, but not my only desire.
More than anything I want to be a kind and gentle person. I want to show people Jesus in any way that I can. I want to have fun and enjoy life. I want to relax more. I want to spend the rest of my life laughing. I want to be a good friend. I want to care about people's feelings. I want to be honest and overall I want people to know that they are safe with me. I want to take care of my physical body too and I do. I want to care about what foods I consume and how they effect me. I want so much for my life that has nothing to do with having a boyfriend.
You see, the times that you think I'm on my couch eating a pint of ice cream crying over my misery, I am actually probably in the special place that I go to to spend time with God, praying for my friends. If I'm crying,it's not because I'm single, it's because I'm praising the Lord for His goodness in my life. Or it's because my friends are in pain and I weep for them in those times. Those wadding up tissues you might see in my trash have the tears of joy and hope on them, not sorrow.
So here is where I politely and lovingly ask you to not try to fix me or my current relationship status. I am confident that the Lord will do that in his own time. I know you all mean well, and you think the world of me and want to see me happy, but I just wanted to make it very clear that I am happy and I will be happy. I know full well that at some point the Lord will provide me a hunk of a man to love and care for, but until then I'm going to use my energy and time to love myself and my friends more and more each day.
I like myself. Right where I am. The last year has taught me more than you'll ever know. The last few months have. I have had more fun the last 2 months than I think I ever have in my life. And I did it all as a single woman. Shocking isn't it?
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