I'm afraid ... after nearly 30 years ... no one has truly seen who I am. I don't think I've ever seen who I really am.
I have allowed other people to dictate who I am my entire life. I liked what other people liked so they would like me. I acted like other people wanted me to act so they would like me. My whole life has been one big show of me doing what I thought was necessary to be liked.
The last few weeks I've been terribly uncomfortable with my life. Nothing feels right. I feel like I'm watching everything in slow motion from a distance and all I can do is watch. I want to jump in and stop it all but I can't. I'm stuck.
The hard part is not knowing how to get out of this place. I can say confidently that I was made for more than this. I know that there is freedom in my future. I know that at some point very soon I am going to get to the point of truly living. I just know it.
I'm ready to be free. I'm ready to have so much joy that I cannot contain it.
I'm ready.
Now I just have to wait on the Lord to literally put me in this place. I am ready to take off this mask and live abundantly. I am ready to rid myself of all of the lies that Satan has told me my whole life.
I am ready for understanding in the middle of this all. I am ready for the truth to be alive and well in the most secret parts of my life. I am ready to lose my grip on the familiar and walk into the truth of the Lord.
I am willing. I am oh so very willing.
I have allowed other people to dictate who I am my entire life. I liked what other people liked so they would like me. I acted like other people wanted me to act so they would like me. My whole life has been one big show of me doing what I thought was necessary to be liked.
The last few weeks I've been terribly uncomfortable with my life. Nothing feels right. I feel like I'm watching everything in slow motion from a distance and all I can do is watch. I want to jump in and stop it all but I can't. I'm stuck.
The hard part is not knowing how to get out of this place. I can say confidently that I was made for more than this. I know that there is freedom in my future. I know that at some point very soon I am going to get to the point of truly living. I just know it.
I'm ready to be free. I'm ready to have so much joy that I cannot contain it.
I'm ready.
Now I just have to wait on the Lord to literally put me in this place. I am ready to take off this mask and live abundantly. I am ready to rid myself of all of the lies that Satan has told me my whole life.
I am ready for understanding in the middle of this all. I am ready for the truth to be alive and well in the most secret parts of my life. I am ready to lose my grip on the familiar and walk into the truth of the Lord.
I am willing. I am oh so very willing.
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