Let’s talk about some things I learned about myself this weekend ... shall we?
Great! I’m glad you agree. Now, let’s get cozy and chat.
Somewhere around 11:00 PM on Saturday night I realized that not everyone wants to be taken care of. I have this desire inside of me to take care of everyone ... if I have something you like I’ll offer it to you. If you have stuff that needs to get done and you don’t have time ... I’ll do it for you. I’m all over that stuff like white on rice. It fills me up. It makes me feel like I’m living out my purpose.
But ...
Just because I want to do for other people doesn’t mean that people want to be done for. So ... I have to stop pushing my help on people. I have to know when to back off and let people take care of their own junk. Sometimes people like taking care of their own junk. This is probably one of the strangest things I’ve ever learned about myself, but I sure am happy that someone took the time to talk with me about it and help me understand.
Moving on to the second thing I learned about myself ... this is the tough one ... I’m just going to say it ... ok ... here we go ...............
I am not that great of a communicator when it comes to matters of the heart ... more specifically ... my heart.
Whew, I said it. I communicated it.
Let me clarify.
I am a GREAT writer. I can write this blog all dang day long and say what I feel and mean what I say. I can let my fingers tell the story my heart is telling them to. I can Facebook and Twitter GREAT stuff ... But when it comes to my mouth doing the talking I am a terrible mess. Things don’t come out right. I try too hard. I say things in ways I don’t mean them. And so on and so on.
Writing is easy because there is a delete button.
I have the best of intentions to communicate with people well. I LOVE to communicate with people. Talking about things is one of my most favorite things in the world ... I can sit and talk with people about their lives for DAYS at a time, but when it comes to matters my very own heart and the way my feelings feel ... oh man. It’s like a train wreck. It all feels calm and comfortable and ready to be told but when I actually start speaking I realize that it’s coming out all wrong. I think it’s just insecurities. I like people to feel loved and not have hurt feelings. I like to not look like an idiot and well ... explaining myself sometimes makes me look like an idiot.
But ...
Hurt feelings and looking like an idiot are a part of life and mending can be done. I feel like I crossed a big milestone this weekend in communication ... I didn’t do it perfectly but I did it. And it all worked out well in the end. And that’s all that matters.
And for my third, and final point ... just like all good sermons have ...
I learned that my joy is real. For the very first time in my entire life my joy is rooted in something other than emotions. When the wind starts blowing ... I am standing still. And that, my friends, is one of the greatest accomplishments I have ever had in life. And I mean that seriously!
My emotions no longer tug me left and right. There is no greater feeling than knowing that no matter your situation there is true joy. No matter if I’m crying my eyes out ... I can still smile and smile from way deep deep down.
And that is wonderful. Really wonderful.
So I think it’s safe to say I learned a lot this weekend. And I’m thankful I am open enough to learn these things. And from now on I feel like I should record myself saying all of my blogs to help overcome my communication issue.
On second thought ... I really like the delete button.
Great! I’m glad you agree. Now, let’s get cozy and chat.
Somewhere around 11:00 PM on Saturday night I realized that not everyone wants to be taken care of. I have this desire inside of me to take care of everyone ... if I have something you like I’ll offer it to you. If you have stuff that needs to get done and you don’t have time ... I’ll do it for you. I’m all over that stuff like white on rice. It fills me up. It makes me feel like I’m living out my purpose.
But ...
Just because I want to do for other people doesn’t mean that people want to be done for. So ... I have to stop pushing my help on people. I have to know when to back off and let people take care of their own junk. Sometimes people like taking care of their own junk. This is probably one of the strangest things I’ve ever learned about myself, but I sure am happy that someone took the time to talk with me about it and help me understand.
Moving on to the second thing I learned about myself ... this is the tough one ... I’m just going to say it ... ok ... here we go ...............
I am not that great of a communicator when it comes to matters of the heart ... more specifically ... my heart.
Whew, I said it. I communicated it.
Let me clarify.
I am a GREAT writer. I can write this blog all dang day long and say what I feel and mean what I say. I can let my fingers tell the story my heart is telling them to. I can Facebook and Twitter GREAT stuff ... But when it comes to my mouth doing the talking I am a terrible mess. Things don’t come out right. I try too hard. I say things in ways I don’t mean them. And so on and so on.
Writing is easy because there is a delete button.
I have the best of intentions to communicate with people well. I LOVE to communicate with people. Talking about things is one of my most favorite things in the world ... I can sit and talk with people about their lives for DAYS at a time, but when it comes to matters my very own heart and the way my feelings feel ... oh man. It’s like a train wreck. It all feels calm and comfortable and ready to be told but when I actually start speaking I realize that it’s coming out all wrong. I think it’s just insecurities. I like people to feel loved and not have hurt feelings. I like to not look like an idiot and well ... explaining myself sometimes makes me look like an idiot.
But ...
Hurt feelings and looking like an idiot are a part of life and mending can be done. I feel like I crossed a big milestone this weekend in communication ... I didn’t do it perfectly but I did it. And it all worked out well in the end. And that’s all that matters.
And for my third, and final point ... just like all good sermons have ...
I learned that my joy is real. For the very first time in my entire life my joy is rooted in something other than emotions. When the wind starts blowing ... I am standing still. And that, my friends, is one of the greatest accomplishments I have ever had in life. And I mean that seriously!
My emotions no longer tug me left and right. There is no greater feeling than knowing that no matter your situation there is true joy. No matter if I’m crying my eyes out ... I can still smile and smile from way deep deep down.
And that is wonderful. Really wonderful.
So I think it’s safe to say I learned a lot this weekend. And I’m thankful I am open enough to learn these things. And from now on I feel like I should record myself saying all of my blogs to help overcome my communication issue.
On second thought ... I really like the delete button.
Comments
Post a Comment