surrender

i'm still here. being as busy and thoughtful as ever.

it's just the way life is right now.

i've realized that it is time for me to surrender some things. i have a real big bad way of holding onto people and feelings in a way of allowing it to control me. i must give them up. a sweet friend of mine spoke of her journey of giving God a full year of her life to do as He desired. sometimes we have to map it out like that. sometimes we have to say, "ok in the next 6 months i am going to surrender my life everyday to the Lord" and really what happens out of that is a habit and a belief and a faith like we have never known. so today .... starts my 6 months. i'm giving up all of my desires and fears and insecurities to the Lord and letting Him take me where He wants me to go. i know on October 28, 2009 i won't be the same person i am today. i know it.

i am making a list of all the things i know the Lord is going to do in me in the next 6 months. i am making a list of all of the things i have to surrender. there will be no compromise in my life. i will not allow my earthly desires to rule. i know so little of God's love and now is the time for it to just be about me and Him. to understand His love and to receive it fully.

i am excited. and i think it has all come at the perfect time. i leave for Europe on thursday and i am so excited. i hear it is a life changing experience and i am all about that right now. don't get me wrong i LOVE me. i really do, but there are things inside of me that i have never worked out. there are matters of the heart that have followed me all my life. so i'm staying me ... just improving on some areas.

i'll post pictures from Europe as much as possible. i know the beauty and the craziness of it all will probably consume me, but i am going to soak it up as much as possible and share with all of you as i can.

i pray my journey to Europe and this journey my heart will be taking will be an encouragement to any of you who feel you are stuck or need a little push. our Savior is big. He can and will do amazing things in our lives IF we allow him. let's surrender it all and let Him do His thing.

surrender. that's my new favorite word.

may my every moment be a surrender to the only One who will never let me down.