why do i hold so tightly to my earthly desires?
as i am trying to surrender to the unfailing love of Christ i find myself still holding onto so many things. why in the world would i not want to hand it all over to the One that will never let me down? why do i feel like my way is better?
i am finding myself more and more content in the love of the Lord but still struggling to fork it all over. this is hard work! work worth doing but still very difficult.
i guess i've played some tricks on myself and convinced myself that i have it all figured out. i do not. i cannot do any of the things i do in life without the Lord. i cannot continue to manipulate situations into what i want them to be. i have to allow the Lord to work in the ways He is going to work ... no matter how slowly.
i want to be happy because my life is beautiful. i want to find joy in all situations. i want to rejoice in what the Lord has so generously blessed me with. i no longer want to find the one bad thing in my life and allow it to ruin my day. this is not living.
i want to be forgiven. i want to ask for forgiveness. i have failed so many of you in so many ways. i have allowed my flesh to take over so many times. i pray you know my sadness and i pray you grant me your forgiveness.
i sat down tonight and made a list of people i need to forgive. it was much longer than i had anticipated. i was holding onto so many things. from so many different times in my life. i will review the list for the next couple of days and continue to ask that my heart be healed and that i allow myself to forgive.
the first person on my list was me.
so tonight i open my hands and loosely hold out my hopes and dreams to a Father who i know will sustain me. who i know will forgive me and who i know will love me. i need not hold so tightly because i know He will take care of these things much better than i ever would be able to.
as i am trying to surrender to the unfailing love of Christ i find myself still holding onto so many things. why in the world would i not want to hand it all over to the One that will never let me down? why do i feel like my way is better?
i am finding myself more and more content in the love of the Lord but still struggling to fork it all over. this is hard work! work worth doing but still very difficult.
i guess i've played some tricks on myself and convinced myself that i have it all figured out. i do not. i cannot do any of the things i do in life without the Lord. i cannot continue to manipulate situations into what i want them to be. i have to allow the Lord to work in the ways He is going to work ... no matter how slowly.
i want to be happy because my life is beautiful. i want to find joy in all situations. i want to rejoice in what the Lord has so generously blessed me with. i no longer want to find the one bad thing in my life and allow it to ruin my day. this is not living.
i want to be forgiven. i want to ask for forgiveness. i have failed so many of you in so many ways. i have allowed my flesh to take over so many times. i pray you know my sadness and i pray you grant me your forgiveness.
i sat down tonight and made a list of people i need to forgive. it was much longer than i had anticipated. i was holding onto so many things. from so many different times in my life. i will review the list for the next couple of days and continue to ask that my heart be healed and that i allow myself to forgive.
the first person on my list was me.
so tonight i open my hands and loosely hold out my hopes and dreams to a Father who i know will sustain me. who i know will forgive me and who i know will love me. i need not hold so tightly because i know He will take care of these things much better than i ever would be able to.
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