i didn't ask for it this time ...

i've always heard people say "don't ask for patience or you just might be put into situations that require it." there was a time in my life where i asked for patience. i realized this quote was true so i stopped asking for it. 

i haven't asked for patience but i've been put in situations lately that definitely require it. 

as i was getting ready this morning (in silence, of course ... read back a few posts to understand that one) i was talking to the Lord and listening to Him answer. i will be the first to admit that, yes, i do hear the Lord speak to me. in conversation. He speaks faster than i think ... so i know it is Him. i was talking to Him about waiting on things and how sometimes i find it hard to understand that He can understand what it feels like to have to wait. 

sometimes i put God in such a box. i think He only understands because He has to or because He literally created every thought and feeling that i am feeling. so i think sometimes i don't give him the credit he deserves for walking on the earth and being human for all those years. 

as i was asking Him to help me in my current situations i admitted my foolish thoughts about Him ... then i heard Him say "you don't think i had to have patience? i was born knowing i would die the death i did. i had to be patient and my whole life ... i had to watch people turn away from me ... reject me ... all for that one moment. that moment of my death that i knew was going to happen." i stopped what i was doing and wanted to cry. it's true.

there is no situation i walk through that the Lord hasn't already been through. patience is only one of the many things he physically and humanly had to walk through. 

i found a place of peace in these thoughts today. i praise the Lord for the conversations He has with me. i praise Him for the fact that i am actually listening and learning.